The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I’m sure there’s a word for it; I just can’t think of it now. I am naturally drawn to the dying. I provide company and entertainment for end-of-life situations. I am a funeral and memorial service musician; I hate weddings.

I took a leap of faith this week. It’s not the first time, but this time feels very different from the rest. I just knew I could no longer live where I was living, so I left, with absolutely nowhere else to go, and I almost didn’t care. I know what it’s like to feel cold, hungry, lonely, hated, rejected, feared, and at the same time scared...too frightened to even give in to my own tears, because what’s the point of that? Regardless of what anyone else thinks of me, I am fiercely pragmatic and adept at survival in adverse circumstances. I do a lot of things and I say a lot of things a lot of people don’t like. However, I am loved and cared for enough, and I refuse to be bullied into being anything other than who I am. Tomorrow is another day...

Keeps my anxiety, and anger at bay...I’m doing an excellent job of controlling my anger, not acting out, nor lashing out...holding my tongue.

I’m so grateful for today’s snow; it gives us all permission to slow down, or stop whatever we were doing and just rest for a bit. Sometimes life is too hurried and nothing is really that big a deal anyway. We are just very small creatures, on one little blue planet, in a vast, ever-expanding Universe.

Listening to "My Name Is Ruin" and watching The Weight of Water...goes very nicely togeth3r.

Drinking a Dark 'n' Stormy and watching movies by myself in the dark...

Umm...I’m not really capable of not stealing anything ever. I can always rationalize my need over supposed morality. Plus, I find ways to make up for it; I can be generous when I have stuff. I’m just not an exceptionally good person; can’t do it.

I have nothing better to do for Valentine's Day, than go to a job interview at a youth hostel in the city, and then come back to suburbia, hide in my room by myself, and watch vampire movies in the dark...

Subspecies: The Awakening is actually what I watched for the first time last night, and I liked it SO much, I am now watching the FIRST Subspecies for the first time, accompanied by a glass of Malbec from Argentina...

Watching Subspecies for the first time...brought me back here.